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The messiness of living and loving

Updated: Mar 27, 2022

Hello to my beautiful readers,

I've been thinking about vulnerability lately and how it coincides with the way we talk about the world. Particularly, the vulnerability to admit that this life is messy and confusing, not even in a hopeless way, but in an introspective, observant way. Once we accept this, we as humans can thrive at the intersection of uncertainty, love and understanding.

There are two quotes that resonated with me in Sally Rooney's new book that I feel inspired to share.

The first piece of advice is... "It is better to be deeply loved, than widely liked".

Not only did this line touch me in a relational sense but I think Rooney intended to somewhat release our undying tendency to people please. Being okay with people disliking you (especially when you succeed or make time for yourself) takes strength and vulnerability. But their expectation of you really isn’t everything. This quote is equally precious because every human being IS loved by some measure. I believe knowing you are loved wholeheartedly by someone will always be enough, no matter how prolifically 'liked' you are.

The second line that strongly resonated with me was...

"In a way even the bad days were good, because I felt them and remembered feeling them. There was something delicate about living like that - like I was an instrument and the world touched me and reverberated inside of me".

Feeling is one of the most conflicting yet greatest gifts we are given in this life. Feelings will pass, just like all things in life, and as they come, they orbit around your sense of self. In the same way, feelings are facts but only to the person feeling them. I am certain it is truly better to feel everything, including the messy, than suppressing those emotions into nothingness. The minute you suppress, you can start to get lost in the deepest corners of yourself. So I think when you let your feelings actually reverberate through you, it softens them and strengthens you. In the end, I guess no matter what we feel, it makes us human so therefore we must be okay.

As the tides rise and recede, know you are forever loved.

(By me always)

Jess xx

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