Updated: Jul 12, 2021
I have always loved giving others advice, that's fundamentally the whole reason i started the blog.
But one of the hardest things i think we all deal with, is reciprocating those words of compassion back into our own lives. I often hear 'treat yourself as you would a best friend' and whilst i understand this phrase i don't really know what to do or how to start.
The things below have allowed me to bolster self love, meaningful relationships and make my little life feel beautiful. This is my advice and love letter to me (and all of you!), from me.
1. There is not one single thing that has ever happened to you or will happen to you, that will be wasted.
This all happens for you, through the highs and lows, the universe supports you. The universe has heard conversations you haven't. Nothing in this world will take what is meant for you. Something about this concept just makes me feel safer, and like I've taken a deep breath.
2. “You spend most of your life in your head, make it a nice place to be”
I love the analogy 'dont let anyone rent space in your head, if they aren't a good tenant. Please remember this and gravitate only to those who make you feel whole. Even more importantly, how you speak to yourself is so precious. Your brain creates a reality based off the words you say to yourself. Mental health is the most important thing to me and we are growing as people every single day. Make sure that growth is positive!
3. You are loved beyond measures, far and wide.
You are, you just are, i promise. Every human being is capable to love and be loved. Love is in our nature and those who make you feel undeserving or like you're hard to love aren't meant for you. You are the living memory of everyone that's ever mattered to you and that is beautiful.
4. There is more to life than finding someone to want you!
I personally love taking the day or morning to myself and doing whatever it is that will connect me to my true self. When you start to get comfortable with your own company and thoughts, it is so freeing. Self discovery doesn't need to be boring, lonely. Don't seek to be relevant, or liked. Seek to be compassionate, seek integrity, seek love, seek light. The rest will fall into place. It is possible to feel whole and happy just as you are.
5. Ask yourself What would someone who really loves herself do right now?
Are the decisions you are making, thoughts you are thinking, supporting the life you want to be living? Changing habits is a really challenging thing to do, especially self-sabotage or negative self-talk. But, this raft of emotions is not serving us to foster a life of abundance.
6. Talk about your blessings, more than your problems
Of course it is natural and important to have challenges but dont get so hung up on them. I find it helps to just talk to one person about what's bothering me so it can be separate from everyone and everything else. Recognise your hurdles, accept and transcend.
Everyone doesn't need access to you. Setting healthy boundaries may look like "I dont have capacity for that right now" "That's just not something i need right now" "Thankyou for thinking of me, but I dont feel up to that at the moment" "Can i suggest you..." You dont need to feel the same way they do, minimise your emotions, say yes, feel guilty or explain yourself... you dont HAVE to do any of it.
I cannot tell you enough that you've got to find yourself first. Now my favourite advice to give is to myself, the inner-work is more powerful than you'll ever know.
Keep looking after yourself lovely,
Love Jess xx